ANNIE: Shut up! Shut up!
JUST PLEASE STOP TALKING.
First of all, stop screwing up the curve of binding energy. Second of all, why do you think your crappy explanation of nucleosynthesis is going to impress me? Why do you think you can use science I already know as a pickup line?
And even if that did impress me, which it doesn’t, and even if you were cute, which you’re not, you are not a good person. You are being really, really, really mean… To my father. Not to some rando, but to my dad. And it wasn’t even your idea. You’re weak. You’re a follower, and you’ve got no freakin’ empathy.
And let me tell you something about Dr. Alien, OK? He might be crazy, but he’s not a cynic. He’s willing to believe in something bigger than himself. And that makes him closer to greatness than you.
You. Will. Never. Be. Anything. Kenneth Jerome Urbanik.
So, why don’t you run to your little friends, and come up with more little schemes to make Peter Stockholm giggle. I have real work.
More Monologues from ‘Annie Jump and the Library of Heaven’
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